Stretched.  Ready to go.  This isn’t bad.  Breathing  controlled.  I could have gone faster.  Music pumping.  Focus on lyrics.  Focus on nothing.  Zoning out.  Letting go of stress.  Feeling healthy.  Each foot step closer to being more healthy.  Bananas give me great energy.  I love bananas.  Heart rate up.  Cardio zone.  Burning calories.  Training.  Training for what?  For myself?  For others?  Want to look good.  Other people train.  Cops joining the force need to run an 8 minute mile.  Marines and Army recruits have to run.  I wonder if I could survive that type of training.  Breathing a little more rapid but still controlled.  Sandstorm by Darude hits it’s apex after the initial lull.

Endorphin.

Feeling good.  Running with an unknown cause.  Running and not stopping until the time runs out on the treadmill.  If I can’t finish a run how can I finish law school?  Renewed energy.  Looking around at others in the gym.  We take for granted the men and women who serve our country in the armed forces.  They sacrifice so much so we can have freedom.  That’s a noble pursuit.  I think everyone owes something to their country.  Thinking about girls.  Girls from the past.  Girls I know now.  Girls “that got away.”  Girls I will meet in the future.  I want to look good.  Running is great.  My Nike sports headphones aren’t slipping like other shitty ones I’ve had.  They were a good investment.  The beat from Van Halen’s Panama starts pumping.  I know the next 3:32 minutes will fly by.  The hook begins to play and an awesome chill rushes over my body .

Endorphin.

Final part of my run.  Glance at clock.  Close to 5 minutes left.  Last 5 are sometimes the hardest.  Why not stop now?  No!  Finish.  Don’t be a pussy.  Kick up the MPH a few points.  Focus on breathing.  Do this for yourself.  Do this for law school.  Do this for Mom and Dad.  Do this for friends.  Do this for your country (what?).  3:14 left.  Look down at my Pi tattoo.  Pi never stops — why should you?  Realize this doesn’t make sense.  Slight cramp.  Have had those before and gotten through it.  I’ve also felt worse than this in my life and gotten through it.  As Nike says JUST DO IT!  Final 2 minutes.  Kick up the MPH again.  Don’t puss out!  No music or thoughts will help you at this point.  Just push yourself.  30 seconds.  On auto-pilot.  Running fast.  Near sprinting.  Legs working independent of mind.  Just moving. 3… 2… 1…

Endorphin.

Thank God…

1. I’m not married.
2. I don’t have a kid.
3. I have a mom and dad who love me.
4. I have great friends.
5. I’m a male.
6. I’m intelligent.
7. I’m creative.
8. I’m my own boss.
9. I went to college and graduated in 4 years.
10. I’m going to law school.
11. I’ve been to Ireland.
12. I’ve loved at least one person in my life.
13. I have my awesome car.
14. I’m not a virgin.
15. I have no disability.
16. I am able to run.
17. I am healthy.
18. I make/have enough money to pay my bills even in this economy.
19. Obama is our president.
20. I have a sense of humor.
21. I got through a difficult time with alcohol.
22. I’m not a religious fanatic (not that religion is bad).
23. I can keep a conversation going.
24. My sarcasm sometimes goes unnoticed.
25. I’m artistic.
26. I can solve a Rubik’s cube.
27. I can still take the derivative of an equation.
28. I look really good with a tan.
29. I don’t take shit from people.
30. For computers and the entire IT industry.
31. For movies and the entire movie industry (minus the MPAA — suck my balls)

Questions 1-3

Three people are studying for the LSAT, Art, Beth and Charles.  Each person handles the stress associated with studying in a different way subject to the following restrictions:

Art handles stress better than Charles, but only if he strangles a cat.
Beth handles stress better than Art, but only if Art does not strangle her cat.
Charles relieves his stress by hitting Art or Beth with a frying pan
The stress of everyone increases when they practice for the LSAT on the same day.
Art and Beth study Monday through Friday, and Charles only studies Friday and Saturday.
No one gets more than 6 hours of sleep at night.
All people begin the day with an equal amount of stress.

1. If Art strangles Beth’s cat, and then dodges Charles’ frying pan swing who mistakenly hits Beth, what is the order of who has the least amount of stress to who has the most amount of stress?

(A) Art, Beth, Charles
(B) Beth, Art, Charles
(C) Art, Charles, Beth
(D) Art, and Charles/Beth have an equal amount of stress
(E) No matter what the fuck happens everyone is more stressed

2.  If no cats are strangled, and no one is hit with a frying pan, but at least one person’s stress has gone down, who might it be?

(A) Charles
(B) Beth
(C) Art
(D) Everyone remains equally stressed
(E) No matter what the fuck happens everyone is more stressed 

3.  Suppose Charles hits Art with his frying pan while Art is strangling Beth’s cat.  If this happened on a Friday night at 11pm, and only Art and Beth had gotten their 6 hours of sleep that day, what comical scenario could be imagined to end this blog post?

(A) Beth cries in the corner as Art dies from blood loss, while Charles runs off stress-free
(B) Beth attempts to save her cat just as Art ducks, and Charles’ frying pan connects with “Fluffy” to send the feline careening towards the wall resulting in a faint *thud*
(C) Art Hulks out and kills Charles and accidentally rips Beth in half mistaking her for her cat
(D) Everyone has a false sense of relief when they realize they have 3 weeks before the LSAT still
(E) No matter what the fuck happens everyone is more stressed

Answers
To be honest the answers to 1-3 are all E.  However, for the sake of drawing this out further one may also take these as the “real” answers.

1. C, Art is instantly more relieved than Charles once he strangles Beth’s cat by rule 1, and then once Charles connects his hit with Beth he has become more relieved than Beth by rule 3.  Beth is the only one who has remained as stressed as she was before (or perhaps more so since her cat died).

2. B, Beth is the only one who’s stress goes down since her cat has not been strangled by rule 2.  Both Art and Charles have not relieved any stress because of rules 1 and 3 respectively.

3. B, This was a trick question and the answer is whichever you think is the funniest. I thought B was the funniest because imagining a cat being hit by a frying pan is laughable.