How I almost died at Geauga Lake

This story occurred many many years ago when I was in 8th or 9th grade.  Everytime I think about it my heart starts racing, and I remind myself how lucky I am to be alive.

It was the middle of the summer and my friend Mike LaNasa and I were going to Geauga Lake with a group of other people.  Since it was hot out we all brought our swimsuits, and planned on hitting the water rides.

I can’t remember exactly why some of us split up, but we did.  A small group (including myself) decided to hit the water attractions to cool off.  I personally decided to go down a water slide I had never been on before.  But it wasn’t just a normal water slide, it was one of those racing slides where another idential one is right next to you.  You and your opponent sit on a board that is being held back by a peg underneath, and the lifeguard pulls a lever releasing the both of you at the same time.  Pretty simple right?

Well, I had never been on this type of slide before, and I didn’t know what to expect.  I didn’t know that the lifeguard was to pull the lever to release the peg; so I incorrectly started pushing my board over the peg to begin my journey down the slide.

That was a fucking mistake.

Before I knew it I felt the lifeguard grab me hard while she yelled, “NO!”  I had already begun my momentum down the slide, however, and her jerking motion so forceful and strong, that she literally held me back.  My board went down the slide without me, and to my amazement I had been pulled off from the slide etnirely.  I was literally dangling from 8 stories high, holding onto the side of the slide, and a piece of wood I had somehow managed to grasp!  Never in my life have I ever had an adrenaline rush like I did then.  Even thinking about it now brings back some of those feelings.  Can you imagine looking up from below and seeing a 13 year old kid just swinging above?

I didn’t have time to be mad, upset, or scared.  I didn’t scream, curse or say anything.  I was so focused on holding on as tight as I could that nothing else mattered right then.  Surivival instincts kicked in and through some amazing strength on my part, and the help of my would-be assasin, I was able to climb back to the platform.  The entire episode took less than 15 seconds, but it seemed like an eternity.

Only atop the platform again did I have time to reflect upon what happened, and realize how close I was to dying and/or becoming seriously injured.  I began shaking uncontrollably and didn’t know what to say.  Then the lifeguard began crying.  I looked at her, first out of anger, then out of curiosity, and finally out of sympathy.  She was really sorry and upset for what happened.  She apologized, asked me about a thousand times if I was okay, and then continued crying.  I said I was okay, that it wasn’t her fault (lie), and that she shouldn’t worry about it.  I then said I didn’t want to go down the slide anymore, and walked back down the stairs I came up on.

When I remember this story today I’m shocked nothing worse happened.  For starters, the board and slide I was holding on to was wet and slippery.  People who have been in perilous situations similar to mine talk about having a “death grip,” and I certainly believe that’s what I had that day.  Second, once I knew something was wrong, I had a split second to physically turn my body 180 degrees to be able to grasp anything.  This happened instinctively, and perhaps accidentally as well.  In both cases I could have just as easily fallen straight down.  

At no other point in my life have I ever been that close to death.  Maybe once in a car when I didn’t see a stop sign, but even that didn’t compare to this experience.

If that lifeguard is out there and reading this, be sure to drop a line.  It’d be interesting to hear your side of the story.

2008
11/19
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My LSAT Logic Game Question

Directions: Each question is based on a set of conditions.  It may be useful to draw a rough diagram to answer some of the questions.  Choose the response that most accurately answers each question.

Questions 1-3

Three people are studying for the LSAT, Art, Beth and Charles.  Each person handles the stress associated with studying in a different way subject to the following restrictions:

Art handles stress better than Charles, but only if he strangles a cat.
Beth handles stress better than Art, but only if Art does not strangle her cat.
Charles relieves his stress by hitting Art or Beth with a frying pan
The stress of everyone increases when they practice for the LSAT on the same day.
Art and Beth study Monday through Friday, and Charles only studies Friday and Saturday.
No one gets more than 6 hours of sleep at night.
All people begin the day with an equal amount of stress.

1. If Art strangles Beth’s cat, and then dodges Charles’ frying pan swing who mistakenly hits Beth, what is the order of who has the least amount of stress to who has the most amount of stress?

(A) Art, Beth, Charles
(B) Beth, Art, Charles
(C) Art, Charles, Beth
(D) Art, and Charles/Beth have an equal amount of stress
(E) No matter what the fuck happens everyone is more stressed

2.  If no cats are strangled, and no one is hit with a frying pan, but at least one person’s stress has gone down, who might it be?

(A) Charles
(B) Beth
(C) Art
(D) Everyone remains equally stressed
(E) No matter what the fuck happens everyone is more stressed 

3.  Suppose Charles hits Art with his frying pan while Art is strangling Beth’s cat.  If this happened on a Friday night at 11pm, and only Art and Beth had gotten their 6 hours of sleep that day, what comical scenario could be imagined to end this blog post?

(A) Beth cries in the corner as Art dies from blood loss, while Charles runs off stress-free
(B) Beth attempts to save her cat just as Art ducks, and Charles’ frying pan connects with “Fluffy” to send the feline careening towards the wall resulting in a faint *thud*
(C) Art Hulks out and kills Charles and accidentally rips Beth in half mistaking her for her cat
(D) Everyone has a false sense of relief when they realize they have 3 weeks before the LSAT still
(E) No matter what the fuck happens everyone is more stressed

Answers
To be honest the answers to 1-3 are all E.  However, for the sake of drawing this out further one may also take these as the “real” answers.

1. C, Art is instantly more relieved than Charles once he strangles Beth’s cat by rule 1, and then once Charles connects his hit with Beth he has become more relieved than Beth by rule 3.  Beth is the only one who has remained as stressed as she was before (or perhaps more so since her cat died).

2. B, Beth is the only one who’s stress goes down since her cat has not been strangled by rule 2.  Both Art and Charles have not relieved any stress because of rules 1 and 3 respectively.

3. B, This was a trick question and the answer is whichever you think is the funniest. I thought B was the funniest because imagining a cat being hit by a frying pan is laughable.

2008
11/19
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Snow

It’s the first snow of the season here in Northeast Ohio, and again I’m reminded of how awesome it looks outside.  Sure it’s cold out, and driving is a pain, but you can’t deny that it’s really beautiful.

It’s this time of year people seem to utter, “I keep asking myself why I live here.” 

I can’t speak for them, but I like Cleveland, and I like the seasons.  I don’t mind the changes in weather, and actually look forward to it.  When I was weighing the possibility of moving away from this state (to somewhere that didn’t get snowfall) it was one of the things that ran through my head.  Honestly!  I thought, if I move there, I will miss the snow.  

So anyway, for me, this morning is awesome.  I can’t wait to go sledding.

CNN report on Northeast Ohio snowfall

2008
11/17
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Up all night…

It’s morning and I’ve been up all night working on a website.  The large Dunkin’ Donuts coffee I drank a few hours ago, and the Coke I chugged within the last hour has left me wide awake.  Yet the sight of daybreak is a good cue that maybe I should try and get a few hours of sleep before “waking up.”

I’m really glad I didn’t buy one of those 5 hour energy drinks… I’m not even sure if those work.

Anyway, good night (err… morning)!

AG

2008
11/12
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Hiram College

After I graduated from Aurora High School I was accepted to Hiram College, a private liberal-arts school in Northeast Ohio. I brought to college a more sophisticated work ethic than I had in high school, and an open mind. My first course, The Quest for Justice, was taught by one of my favorite professors, Ken Alpern. I’ll never forget my first class with him. Imagine 20 or so students loudly piling into a classroom. Ken just sat there, like a stone, stoic in his stature. Settling whispers and coughs crescendoed to a roaring silence. Still, he sat there gazing upon each of us. Clutching our copies of Plato’s Republic we sat there not knowing what to expect, and in a state of paralytic fear. Then he spoke, quietly and somber, yet somehow loud and thunderous, “Open your books. We will read the first sentence together. This will be the first sentence you will read as college students, and it will be from a text that has had profound impact on humankind. Remember this moment.” As he began to read aloud we read along in silence. It was Socrates talking, “I went down to the Piraeus yesterday with Glaucon, the son of Ariston.” In that day, my first day of classes, Ken set the tone for the way I approached higher education. He also, perhaps unwittingly, peaked an ongoing interest in philosophy. Over the course of 4 years at Hiram I had 3 courses with Ken all of which were top-notch. When one speaks of memorable teachers he surely has a place among my top 5.

Unlike many other students I knew coming into college exactly what I wanted to major in, computer science. Hiram’s CS department is extremely focused, challenging and educationally demanding. We are the only college in America to have an all female faculty, and also one of only a few that require 2 research projects before graduation instead of just 1 which others schools normally ask of their students. There will always be a place in my heart for the 2 senior faculty members, Obie Slotterbeck and Ellen Walker. Their lifetime experience alone is a wealth of knowledge, and their enthusiasm for the subject matter second to none.

My proudest moment as a professional student was my research project done in Ellen Walker’s Computer Vision course. I developed a fully supervised and trained vision detection system for classifying sign language letters within photographs. I approached the project with the same energy and determination I had in my chemistry project. I dominated the research and understood every technical detail required to make my system work. The satisfaction I had from the project was some of the purest ever felt. When I gave my presentation to my fellow students and professors a great exhilaration came over me. You know what’s a great feeling? Working your ass off for something that you know you’ll get an A in, and having 100% confidence going into a presentation that you won’t get anything but an A.

Like most people who look back on their college years I remember mine as being some of the best of my life. Unlike most people, however, I don’t want to look back on them as if I can’t have even better times ahead of me! I am not done with life! I still have things to offer this world and things to do. After graduating it was a very strange feeling to not be returning to school the next fall. I miss learning. I miss research. I miss that undescribable spark a person feels when they’re on a campus with other smart people who are equally active in educational endeavors. The atmosphere is viral and electric. Hiram College, if nothing else, injected into my soul a desire to learn even more than I know today. To defend freedom of thought. Lastly, by generating a pang (sometimes painful) that I should strive for even more learning.

In the words of Hiram’s motto — fiat lux — let there be light.

2008
11/11
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Tennis

Tennis has been a huge part of my life since I was very young.

My mom swears that I started playing tennis at age 3, however I don’t know this for a fact. I’ll take her word for it though ;-)

Anyway, my mom was a YMCA tennis instructor in Solon when we lived there. I helped her with her classes and would hit with her before and after the lessons. She and I would also play every summer and very quickly I developed my natural talent into a pretty impressive force. I was still very young when I had a coach (Pat Smith) ask me to join her traveling team one summer. That was a lot of fun, and it felt good to be the youngest kid on the team.

As I grew older into my teens my parents paid for private/group lessons at Western Reserve Racket Club. They also sent me to a Nike Tennis camp which was intense to say the very least. I also had the good fortune of hitting with the Jenson brothers when they did a promotional visit to Northeast Ohio.

It was no surprise once I got to Aurora High School that I was accepted on the varsity team. I would remain on the varsity team for the rest of my high school career to retire as a 4 year varsity letter award winner. That was a proud moment for me, and something I thoroughly enjoyed accomplishing. I even had my senior graduation party there and everyone signed a gigantic Penn tennis ball! It was awesome!

When I got to Hiram College I was intent on continuing my competitive play for their team, but the time requirements they asked us to put in pulled me away from my studies. It was a hard decision to make but I chose education over tennis.  Thankfully for me the choice paid off and I finished Hiram with good grades. Sadly, though, tennis seemed to slip away and I hardly played while at Hiram.  After graduating I played even less.

It wasn’t until 2 years later that tennis came back into my life. Aurora High School, my alma mater, was in need of a JV tennis coach and the athletic director, Dick Bliss, called me up. He knew my dad for many years (they taught together) and remembered I was a good tennis player. Apparently he figured out I was still in the area and offered me the position. Of course I jumped on the opportunity and was excited to get back into tennis!

In 2007 I assisted head coach Ron Bratton, and in 2008 I assisted head coach Dania Banc. It was so much fun to work with high school students in a sport I loved and had such an appreciation for when I was in school. Most of all I enjoyed joking around with the kids and thinking back to my time as a player. In fact, in 2007 our team ended up winning the CVC, the first time in many many years! It was rewarding, exhilarating, and most of all got me back into the swing (no pun intended) of tennis.

Following the 2008 high school season I was invited to join a 3.5 USTA team by my friend Derek Kohanski. Derek and I played together back in high school so it was fitting that we were on the same team again. Getting involved with the USTA team was terrific. It kept me active, reignited my competitive spirit, and brought back memories from many years before. Only those people who play tennis can speak of the smell of a newly opened can of balls, the feeling of a hard court under your feat, and the sensation of pulling off a killer put away.

I love tennis and I can guarantee it will continue to be a part of who I am.

2008
11/11
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My name is Art… That means I better be good at it!

As you probably already know my name is Art.  What’s funny is that when you’re named Art everyone expects you to be good at it.  Thankfully for my sake I was/am.

I have always been a good artist and show creativity in everything I do. Art, for me, was an outlet. It allowed me to express myself in a positive way. Starting in 7th grade I began an aggressive art career which culminated in 12th grade by taking AP Art. My desire and dedication in high school to art was marred by a teacher who I didn’t really get along with, but I still stuck it through and got a 4 on my AP portfolio. One class in particular I enjoyed was a computer art course. That was my first exposure to Adobe Photoshop and I immediately saw the potential for what it could offer. Anyway, I mention my art career because it’s still a large part of my life and it’s worth noting.

I still sketch to this day and work with Photoshop nearly every day.

2008
11/11
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Aurora

In the Summer between 5th and 6th grade my family moved to Aurora, Ohio. There were a number of reasons why we moved, but I am grateful for the impact it would have on my life. Aurora was an excellent school system and I finished my last 6 years of public education there. A sweet touch to the end of my high school career was having my dad for 12th grade AP literature (I ended up getting a B in it!) For anyone who doesn’t know what it’s like to have your parent as a teacher let me tell you that the first few weeks are extremely weird, followed by a feeling of delight when you need help or need to turn a paper in late.

While my grades were generally good (fluctuating between As and Bs) I wasn’t immune to teenage laziness and disinterest in some subjects which resulted in lower grades. In retrospect, however, my high school years were great. I wasn’t anywhere near the most popular kid, but I wasn’t a huge dork either. I had a superb group of friends that bring back fond memories. I still maintain friendships with some of my friends to this day.

Also during my junior and senior year I had my first girlfriend, and was able to experience all the joys that come with it including falling in love. We dated on and off for 6 years, including college, but in the end it wasn’t meant to be. After college she became a teacher through the well respected Teach for America program and moved cross country. I, instead, opted to stay in Northeast Ohio to develop my web design business here in Cleveland. Though we’re estranged now, and had a less than perfect breakup, I still think of her at times and wish her well.

There’s plenty more I could discuss regarding Aurora, but this was the overall gist of it. My other stories are more specific to actual things that happened in Aurora.

2008
11/11
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I love computers

In 5th grade a lot of my friends began to get computers. I didn’t really know what they were, why someone would want one, or what they could do. After all my 8-bit Nintendo was enough technology for me. It wasn’t until I became friends with Nat Walizer, a classmate from Solon, that I began to realize the potential uses of computers. He introduced me to programming. Besides offering fun games, and a way to write papers for school, all Windows PCs were shipped with an interpretive language programming application called QBASIC. What this allowed you to do was to write lines of instructions telling the computer how to behave. I was instantly hooked. I can’t explain whether it was my affinity for logic, my desire to create things (as if I were God), or to just mess around with a cool piece of equipment. Something struck me in my core and I knew it even at that young age. This was what I wanted to do. This was me. I threw myself into QBASIC; often choosing to code instead of doing my homework. I created math games, adventure games and Pong. As my accumen and talent grew I developed graphically superior games such as a fishing game, a fighting game, a space invaders game and — my crowning achievement — a fully functional Monopoly game that had an on board screen that looked exactly like the real board.

The time I spent exploring the computer was in itself a course. When I chose to play on the computer I was developing the analytical skills programmers need. In retrospect I’m so happy that I worked on my programs than do some meaningless homework assignment. I wish I could convey the great feeling I have for my memory of these times.

As I grew older I developed greater skills and attacked more sophisticated languages. My foray into Windows applications was facilitated by Visual Basic. Then later, while in high school, my parents paid for private lessons in C++ at Hiram College from a student there. By the time I entered Hiram College as a student myself (you’ll read about this later) I had such a commanding understanding of underlying computer architecture and technology that I hit the ground running. While all these logical stimulations were good at serving my left side of the brain; they neglected my right side of the brain, and I needed to satiate it with art.

2008
11/11
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Facebook Profile Image Hacking

Any savvy web developer who uses Facebook knows that you can pretty easily hack the image URL from the website by replacing the “s” (or sometimes “t”) in front of the image name with an “n” to get the full sized image.  For example http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v230/494/97/s58600109_2901.jpg gives a medium sized version of my profile pic whereas http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v230/494/97/n58600109_2901.jpg gives the actual size.

The trick is handy when you come across a person who’s not a friend, but you still want to view their full sized photo.

The problem is, of course, that this can be construed as a privacy violation since you’re circumventing the intended protection Facebook affords its members when they limit profile viewing.  I’m not going to debate what should, and should not, be allowed on the site — I am, however, going to make a simple suggestion on how Facebook can improve their profile image viewing, and prevent this type of hack.

The problem right now (unless I’m greatly mistaken and some Facebook developer can correct me) is that everytime we update our profile pic 3 versions are saved: a thumb, a small and a normal — T, S and N respecitvely.  That means there are 3 seperate jpg images on their servers which can be accessed by anyone with the internet who knows their URL.  As stated above this creates a concern for privacy.  The fact that Facebook creates 3 seperate images isn’t a problem; in fact they probably do this to rely on speed boosts from caching.  It’s not even a problem that they’re all named the same thing except for a one letter difference; although changing the name of each file would solve the problem.  This, however, would create a great deal of confusion if a human ever had to deal with the images, and could potentially require another 2 columns in a database.  The problem really boils down to whether the URL is hidden from hackers to prevent possible manipulation.

Truthfully, there are only 2 pieces of information Facebook needs to know in order to render a profile pic.  They are 1) the user id and 2) what flavor of the profile pic they need to render (ie. thumb, small or normal).  We also know that PHP can stream jpg image data as it’s script output.  So it’s then totally reasonable to propose that we can then use a URL for an image such: profilePicRenderer.php?profile=58600109&flavor=s

The profilePicRenderer.php page would then interpret this and stream the appropriate profile pic to the page as a jpg image.  If someone were to look at the source code of the rendered HTML they’d only see the profilePicRenderer.php URL.  Furthermore, since Facebook would be hitting their server (which they’d have to do anyway to return a jpg image in their current system) they’d have the added benefit of being able to do some privacy checking.  They can ask and answer the following: Is a person logged in who is trying to stream this jpg?  Is a person a friend of this person?  Do they have rights to view this image?  All the important privacy checks could be accounted for in a few CPU processing cycles.  True, performance might be hit, but the images would still be cached once the user “suffers” the first time.  A decent price to pay for peace of mind.

The only problem I could foresee is a caching issue.  Right now evertyime a user changes their profile pic the image name changes.  This in turn tells the browser to immediately download the new image and store that in the cache as well.  I think, note that I’m not sure, that we could get around this by always including a special string in our profilePicRenderer.php request which could look something like this: profilePicRenderer.php?profile=58600109&flavor=s&cacheTrick=23fj23kjf

The cacheTrick variable would be maintained on the server, and associated with the profile pic, but not the same name as the profile pic itself (since this is what we’re trying to avoid!).  This way each time a profile pic was changed by a user it would also create a new cacheTrick variable and this could be used to signal the browser that the cached image is old.

2008
11/10
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